My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
only you would photoshop your dick
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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