Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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