i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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