Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
