Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
