Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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