my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
