Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
