I didn't shave. On purpose
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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