Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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