Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
