Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
