Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
