If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
