i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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