butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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