Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
