I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
