i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
