I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
