Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
