and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
