she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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