you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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