I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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