420 ftw
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
