I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
