even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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