Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
