So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
