i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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