Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
