Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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