she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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