Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
