She is in my trunk
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
