Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
