i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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