Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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