No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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