Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
worst night to have a conscience
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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