I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
