so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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