Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
420 ftw
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
