haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
