It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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