So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
