..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
