She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
