at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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